By Candlelight
by hanny spoon
Summary: Fiona wasn't scared of the dark. No, she was scared of the nightmares the darkness held.


_Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the title…_

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**By Candlelight**

As Fiona slowly awoke, she felt the breeze tickling her nose and exposed ear. She pulled the covers tighter to her body, huddling into a ball, as far as she could manage what with being pregnant with triplets. Winter could get so cold, Shrek often did his best to patch up the windows of their tiny home. She turned to her other side, and shuffled further into the middle of the bed. If she could just get slightly closer to him…

Her eyes snapped open as she felt her husband's absence. She was definitely alone, the mattress was without dent and covered in a tangled yet deflated blanket. She looked about her surroundings but could only find darkness.

"Shrek?" she mumbled fearfully into the blanket.

Her eyes scoured the nothing in front of her. She just needed light, _yes_. The breeze must have blown the candle out, she told herself. She shakily sat up and with a trembling hand reached for the table beside her bed. _Matches!_ She grasped the packet and took care as she struck the match.

"We really need to patch up this window again, Honey," she called out, trying to find it within herself to smile at the situation. She wasn't scared of the dark, she was scared of…

The match fell from Fiona's grasp as her eyes took hold of the room around her. Her gasp so loud it almost echoed off the walls surrounding her bed. No, she wasn't scared of the dark. Far from it. She was scared of this.

The nightmares had been happening for as long as she could remember being in the tower, but they changed as she grew. When she was first placed in the keep, it was the terrible Dragon coming to eat her and she was plagued with sleepless nights until she could go no longer. After the acceptance of her fire-breathing guard, it was the fear of falling into the lava pools below; the tower she lived in crumbling beneath her, falling to her painful end. But after a while she grew used to the stability of the room, the castle, her new home. And for the years that followed an odd dream would arise. A dream so realistic she would forget who she was and where she lived. And for a while she would live in freedom; she would be home, with her kingdom, her parents, and a husband. And it would be so incredibly beautiful. _Until she opened her eyes_. And the nightmare would be waking to reality. How the Princess would cry as her daily transformation would break her wonderful dreams and shatter them against the cold floor. No matter how beautiful the dream was, she hated it. And never wished for it to come along, it made her life excruciating for as long as her mind would dwell. The days that followed those dreams were always the worst. She would carve the day past into the wall with such force the chalk would snap. And she wished she could continue marking yesterday until the wall wore away. But not even that could come close to the terror these dreams brought Fiona.

This nightmare was different to the others, mainly in the fact that she knew very well she was dreaming. This scared her more than anything, because she also knew what she had lost. Being back in the tower meant everything was gone.

Fiona stood, throwing the covers to the floor with a delicately pale, completely human hand. Her new life was gone, even her ogre form non-existent. She searched every crevice of the room, under the bed, behind the tapestry, out the window with such frantic movements she had lost her breath. Shrek was gone. And finally, to complete the horror, her hands flew to her slender, flat stomach. Her babies disappeared. She was as far from the new life she loved as possible.

"_SHREK!_" she called out the window, longing to see him rush into her vision. Fiona was desperate to get out, she didn't care how, but her body didn't move. She was waiting at her window like a Princess should, she hated it. _Waiting…_

No one came.

No knight, no prince… No ogre and his donkey…

Tear spilled over the Princess's cheeks, hands covering her trembling lips as she began to sob. Her husband wasn't going save her, no one was going to come crashing through her tower ceiling and drag her to her feet. She would be stuck forever. Grief, that felt all too real, swept over her body. She couldn't be back in the tower again, not after experiencing and learning everything she had, after _living_. Her life had finally begun, and now it had crashed to an end, back in that tower she had grown to despise.

Fiona's knees gave way and she fell to the ground, only just catching herself, "_Shrek, no…" _she whimpered, barely making out the words. Her eyes lit up as she heard it… _his voice_. She scrambled to the door, still on her knees, and began tugging at the unmoving handle; her human form far too weak to break it open.

"_Shrek?"_ she called, the tears blinding her vision, "_Shrek, help!_"

"_FIONA!_"

Fiona's eyes flew open; open to see her husband's face inches from her own.

"_Oh Fiona…"_ relief flooded his expression, as he pulled his trembling wife into his arms.

"_Shrek… I'm so sorry… I just…"_ Fiona struggled to choke out the words as she wept into his bare shoulder. This wasn't the first time the nightmare had happened. In fact, in spells of more blustery weather they occurred quite frequently; most times the candle went out. To say she wasn't embarrassed would be wrong. In the morning she would feel quite humiliated by what the night had brought them both. However she was ever thankful for Shrek's understanding, whenever she spoke about lighting the candle for reasons other than the truth, he would smile and nod. At times _she_ would forget he knew. She liked it that way. She didn't want to acknowledge the nightmares, as she was terrified that it would help bring them along. Some nights she'd wake to darkness, the candle long gone out, and be pleasantly surprised by her and Shrek's bedroom, her husband sleeping beside her, her babies wriggling within her. Those were good nights, those nights were rare.

Luckily for her, their candle seemed to stay alight most of the time.

"Calm down, Fiona," Shrek rocked her back and forth, stroking her hair with one hand, holding her firmly with the other. Just the way she liked it.

"We need another one," Fiona barely whispered, slowly bringing her crying to a halt.

"What?" Shrek lightly kissed her head.

"A candle, we need another one on your side of the bed," she took a deep breath and peeled her head from her husband.

The ogre smirked, "That's an idea we should have thought of before." He chucked, wiping her cheeks with the back of his fingers, "_Are you okay?_" He glanced down at her bump, their babies becoming an ever increasing concern during nights like these.

"I am now," she offered him a small smile.

"Fiona…" Shrek hesitated, he looked into her tearful eyes, "What happens?" She shied away from his question, the window pulling her gaze away from him, "_Fiona_," he put his hand on her cheek, lightly pulling her back to himself.

"I wake up in the tower…" Fiona told him the story in-between slow breaths; she didn't need to start crying again, as she feared she'd never stop.

She didn't understand why she never told him, the ogress figured it was the embarrassment she felt. She was supposed to be brave and fearless, not terrified by a silly dream, of waking in the dark. But Shrek, her wonderful husband, saved her every time, it was best he know what he was saving her from. Her mind drifted back to all the times she had nearly lost him, what would she have done without her truly fearless saviour?

"_Look!_" she pointed outside the window, "A shooting star."

Shrek smiled at his wife and pulled her closer, "I think I can give this wish to you."

After squeezing her eyes shut and crossing her fingers, she looked back up to his face, "Does it still count if I tell you?"

"I can keep it a secret…"

"I wished that our children would never have to go through anything like we've had to."

Shrek's face froze, clearly taken aback by her words. She knew he'd be surprised by her wish, yet it felt right.

"I never want them to experience the loneliness or the fear… Or ever have to fight for their lives or to save someone else's. I just want them to be happy… Happy and safe," she explained, easing his reaction.

"That's perfect," Shrek stated simply, "They're the luckiest children in kingdoms near and far to have a mother like you."

Blushing, Fiona took his hand, "_And_ a father to protect them."

"Protect them just like I will always protect you."

"From silly nightmares…."

"From their greatest fears, Fiona."

For someone who often found it difficult to word his feelings, her husband would sometimes take her breath away with the things he said, and all Fiona could do was smile. He was her rescuer, and he'd rescue her from anything that was thrown their way, even things as small as nightmares. And even if she did wake up in the tower, he would come, come and find her. _That is if she'd sit and wait for him_. A lot had changed since she was there; she had her saviour, she had a new found attitude on waiting to be saved, and heck, if she really needed it she even had a dragon.

...

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I've wanted to write this for so, so, _so_ long!

Shrek's speech in Forever After about how much he knew Fiona was absolutely adorable, and I've been toying with this idea for a while now.

Hope you liked!


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